The way learning and living is complicated when we have trouble with organization

Renewal

I’ve neglected this blog for long enough! Going forward, I am going to put at least weekly stories of my adventures with Executive Dysfunction, as I work with those who suffer with it, to find understanding of the forces at work, and alternative methods and tools for getting better results. I invite you to add your own thoughts, concerns and stories. I will not use the real names of my students, replacing any male ones with “John” and any female ones with “Jane.”
The idea is to share and reflect, not to identify and critique.

Comments on: "Renewal" (2)

  1. I may be way off base but I know someone who has these problems that has not been diagnosed. Let me tell you some about her situation and see what you think. She is my step-daughter and hopefully a recovering addict of meth amphetamines. I say hopefully because I cannot always believe what she says or do. She tells people what she thinks they want to here and she is good at that. She and I have had the discussion that her mind does not work the way it used to. She is unable to make the right choices and move ahead in her life. We will have a long discussion about goal setting and working towards those goals. She might make one step in the right direction and then make a decision that negates her progress. Let me give you a little bit of history and then I’ll share some examples. To my knowledge she began abusing drugs around the age of 17. She started with cigarettes and marijuana. Somewhere along the line, she was introduced the meth. She used meth until she became pregnant; at which time I’m fairly certain she got off of it. After the birth of her first child, she went right back to the drug. Her weight dropped significantly and I thought she was using laxatives and diet pills. She was involved in an unstable relationship with the father of her child. He was like the little boy that didn’t grow up. He enjoyed hanging out with friends and riding the roads in his jeep. He took little or no responsibility for the child that they shared. My step-daughter would hang out with friends that had small children. She smoked and did meth. During a brief separation from her child’s father, she became pregnant with another man’s child. She got off of the drugs, yet again, and delivered another baby girl. She moved back home with me and her father. We made a plan. She would stay at home with the new baby until she was 8 weeks old. She would get a job and start supporting herself and her children. She obtained a job working at a local restaurant. This was a place that she had worked before. She looked for childcare for the baby and told us that she found a couple that was willing to babysit. When the baby turned eight weeks old, she gave the baby to the couple to adopt, walked out of our house with bottles in the frig and diapers waiting, left every stitch of clothing that she had and left our home. She did not call, she did not leave a note, and she just left. I didn’t know where she went or that she had given the baby away until my sister-in-law saw the adoptive mother showing off her new baby in Wal-Mart. It was devastating to my family. We did not speak with her or see her again for at least a year. Now, I needed to explain that to provide some background about my step-daughters inability to make rational decisions. She had a home to live in, with her children. She had food and transportation. She gave that baby away and walked out with the other child, who at this time was 2 years old. She was back on drugs. She lived a life of constant moving. She met a man and married. I cannot name the number of places they lived. They were both addicted to meth and, at one point, were tried and convicted for the manufacturing of meth amphetamines. We had sporadic contact with them. We would know where they lived and see them. Then we wouldn’t hear anything from them and they would be gone. They would walk out and leave everything they had. On numerous occasions, we would help them get started. We would gather household items and supply them with beds or dressers – these things would just be left. More recently, they both entered a rehabilitation program for drug addicts. My husband and I kept the daughter while they were hospitalized. When my step-daughter got out of rehab, we helped her to find a job. We provided her with a place to live and transportation. She had a good job and threw it all away. After less than two weeks, she quit showing up for work on time. She would say that she didn’t have a way or that her car tore up. She convinced her co-workers that her husband was violent. She told wild stories that had them all watching the door. She ran off with another guy and they got a trailer together. She would be with the boyfriend for a couple of days and then go back to the husband. She would stay with the husband for a couple of days and then go back to the boyfriend. She admitted that she couldn’t make a rational decision. She said that when she would leave the boyfriend, she was convinced that she was doing the right thing and it was what she wanted. Then, she would be right back with him in a couple of days. It was maddening. She got another job at a local grocery store and only worked a week when she left with the boyfriend to live in another state. I don’t know if she has executive dysfunction but I know she has lost the capability to set a goal and work towards that goal. She is unable to make the right choices. Rather, she makes rash decisions that have devastating consequences.

  2. Thank you for this website! I am starving for practical information and a community who understands. Bless you.

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